I’m trying to journal through my relationship struggles, but some days the truth feels too heavy to write. I’m in love with someone who isn’t good for me. And the worst part is: I don’t know how to stop.

He’s not a monster. He’s not abusive in the dramatic sense. But he’s unreliable, inconsistent, emotionally unavailable — and I’ve been trying to fill in all the gaps with hope.

I write things like:

“Why do I keep giving chances?”
“What am I afraid to accept?”
“What would loving myself look like today?”
“Why does letting go feel like losing even when I’m hurting?”

Journaling helps, but it also forces me to be brutally honest — about the way I ignore my own needs, the way I fantasize about his potential, the way I keep choosing him over my own peace.

My biggest struggle right now is realizing that healing doesn’t happen when the relationship gets better…
It happens when I start choosing better for myself.

                                          - Rionna